Hello relaxation!
Thursday, December 16, 2010

J had some stuff going on, and I didn't like to talk about it 'cause I didn't want to jinx it. But now it's over!! It was a big ass law suit that, worst case scenario, could have made him lose everything. It has been going on long before I'd met him but it became clear not long into our courtship that he was feeling pretty low because of it. I always had a pretty good feeling about the outcome, I always thought:

1. He's a good guy. Sure at times, he fucks things up, has bad judgment, he has a bad temper but he helps people out whenever he can, he's not greedy and he has pretty high morals. He's good and I love him.

2. I'm a lucky girl. I just couldn't believe that after all these years struggling and fighting with B, and thinking I couldn't have kids for all this time, I (unbeknownst to us both) get pregnant by someone I fell in love with so fast. I believe too much in life and am too positive to think I could be sooo happy after all this time and have the rug pulled out from under me so fast. (this is a bit egocentric, I KNOW)

Of course, there will be other clouds coming up, fuckin up my view. But for now things are good, and I'm in the best place in my life to be almost 8 months pregnant.

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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)