Hormones
Saturday, July 24, 2010

I had an off day yesterday, sometimes I feel a bit lonely. Maybe it's because this pregnancy wasn't planned and I still do the things I used to do. For instance, tonight there's a party at Jerome's beachhouse. Normally I'd go out of my mind, drinking all kinds of yummy stuff and taking the occassional party drug. But now, I go with my friends and drink cokes and sodas. And it's still fun but I feel out of it. So I called Sandy, and with her having a kiddo that'll turn 1 next month said she had that too and that it's normal and it's also my body preparing me for being a mother and focussing on myself and the baby. So after that phonecall I felt better. I'm still going out tonight but it'll just be different and that's ok. I contemplated not going out anymore and staying in, but I don't know what I'm gonna do with my time. Plus, I figured in due time, my belly will be so big, I won't be able to go out anymore so I'm just gonna enjoy myself while I still can.

Jerome is a sweetheart. I love him so much and it feels wonderful to form a family with him in 6 months. I always had boyfriends, ever since I was 14 but I never ever had a connection like this before. Sure, I was in love. Deeply in love. But this is just a whole other level.

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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)