For your viewing pleasure
Saturday, March 27, 2010

Hahaha the first pic is just sexy but the second... he sure has a sense a humour!


my life right now
Thursday, March 25, 2010

Downers: I'm still heart broken. I'm very tired, I'm not getting enough sleep. After B and I had sex, we've been calling eachother like we used to and it's not the best thing to do when you're broken up. I don't have time to heal. It's my day off tomorrow but I have to work for a few hours.

Uppers: Emily and her boyfriend came over to have dinner yesterday evening and it was really nice. It's good to hang with them. They're so happy together, it rubs off on me! I'm going out with a friend of mine tomorrow with whom I haven't hung out with for over 5 years. B and I keep talking and secretly I really dig it... It's almost weekend!!


sex with my ex
Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I went over to B's bachelor pad to bring his stuff and to take mine. There were tears but some laughs too. And we had sex. We exchanged keys and that was that. I don't know, I feel fine with it. It's still over but we most definitely still love eachother. It's just not working.

I don't really know how I feel about all this. I feel good but confused.

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Loved it!
Thursday, March 18, 2010

I went to see Alice in Wonderland yesterday evening with Emily and her new bf. He's a sweetheart, they're a wonderful couple! I really dug this movie, the characters were beautiful, the acting was fantastic, except for the White Queen. It was too... bland. But I say go see if you want to feel exhilirated!

Our first fight
Monday, March 15, 2010

We split up almost 2 months ago, and we were very cool to eachother in all this time. We called, emailed, texted and just saw eye2eye about the break up. It was inevitable and better like this. But tonight we had our first fight as a non-couple. He kept asking me what I thought was wrong with him as a bf and I didn't really wanted to get into that (again!) Because we've talked about it so much and I just can't take it anymore.

I asked him to call me less 'cause I keep crying, I can't stop crying if I keep talking to him all the time. I was up all night so I called him and was a bit more firm this time. Told him to please stop calling me 'cause it's making me crazy, I can't sleep while I had to wake up very early to meet a deadline at work. And in the end we shouted and screamed. He wants us to exchange our stuff and house keys and get it over with. Well, I guess he has a point there. Better to just close the doors and get on with it. It's been long enough.

On top of all that, it's raining cats and dogs! Aaaah! Where's the sun?


Best friends
Sunday, March 7, 2010

I'm so nervous! Fuck man, how LOOOONG will this take?!

I called Arvin one of B's best friends earlier. I kept crying. He was really sweet. I wanted to call B but that isn't the best idea right now. It was good to talk to him. They went partying yesterday and he still hadn't slept. I can't take any shit right now, I'm afraid I'll never stop crying. But I look forward to summer, I hope I'll be ready for some hard ass partying!

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Small happy moments
Saturday, March 6, 2010

I went out yesterday, clubbing with Kim, her bf and another couple who're not my friends but whom I dig very much. There was a gay/lesbian party on one floor and a normal party on the other. The gay fest was waaaay more popular and the music was great so we just danced with the homos. The party photographer kept taking pics of me with the other girl, I guess they thought we were a nice couple hahaha.

At the end of the night, around 5 am the other couple got into a fight. The guy was pissed off. I hated that that happened but I thought to myself, hey that's a pro of being single: I don't have fights anymore!!!

This morning while in bed nursing my hangover and watching episodes of Desperate Housewives I cried 'cause I missed B so much.

Baby steps, huh? :-)

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Dry spell
Tuesday, March 2, 2010

No sex these past two weeks. Nobody knows how long this'll go on. I sure as hell don't know but I know sucks. Well, it doesn't suck and that's the problem!

Thank God it ain't spring yet!

Fucking hell what am I gonna do???


This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)