I've been off the pill for a few months now (three) and nothing happens. I wonder how long this'll take? I'm certainly not spastic about the whole baby thing but I am curious, after years and years and years of preventing the seed to dig in, how long will it take to hit the jackpot? It's in God's hands I suppose and I'm always very calm in you know, God's hands situations.
But I'm just so impatient!! :-D
A little conversation at B's parents, just to illustrate what I have to go through week after week, month after month. We were watching a tv show where a white lady acts like a black lady from Curacao and interviews other "celebrities". She has a body suit and is very well make-upped.
B's Dad: Wow, do you think you would see it if she came up to you and talked to you?
B's Mom: Well, I think I wouldn't see it, 'cause all those real black women are soooo ugly!
B's Dad: Yeah, but lots of white women are ugly too, you have ugly women in every race.
B's Mom: Yeah but the black women are really ugly!
B's Dad: Well, I think Catlin's a really beautiful girl.
B: But Cat's not a negro?!
WTF?! I can't tell you the degrees in which I have a really weird mix of love and LOATHING for my in-laws. In all these years I've come to like and love them but shhh, these people are such JACKASSES! I think it's my punishment for being such a bitch sometimes.
There, I've said it and I feel so much better now. Have a nice weekend!
B and I went shopping in Amsterdam on Friday. He had a casting call but when he got there he found out he's not even available on the day of shooting. So he was there for nothing and it pissed him off! So we went shopping for boots and I just couldn't find anything. Except for one pair, but they were 525 dollars/350 euros!! I once bought shoes for that ridiculous amount of money and they were too big and I had to go through a lot of shit to return them. I didn't even get my money back but got store credit!! I'm such a shithead sometimes. Anyways, my girl Kim's a flight attendant and she's flying to Chicago tomorrow and can probably get the boots for 30 to 50% less than they cost here. Yay!
We went to the in laws yesterday and the shit is really about to hit the fan. Cancer... ugh. :-(
Blairwitch project was waaaay scarier than Paranormal Activity. Especially the part with the guy looking up Nadine on the internet with the Linda Blair lookalike eating her own arm. Shhhh. Sooooo unbelievable. Much ado about nothing!
I really have been working my ass off lately and I'm soo tired!
I can work from home which is a blessing and a curse 'cause when it's 16.00, you're having a dip and you don't do much at work, besides chatting of surfin the net. And then you leave early and think, oh I can work some more at home tonight. And then you work from 20.00 till 23.00! But I've stopped doing that, 'cause you never ever have any free time that way!
Just came back from a difficult yoga class (the breathing techniques always give me headaches) and will fall asleep in 10 minutes! Thank fuck tomorrow's Friday!!!
B and I went to the beach today, well not in bikinis since it's October in froggity country but just to eat some fish and hang around. We shopped a bit and B bought me a really nice vest. Kid's size. I'm very tiny and lately I've been buying a bit more kid's clothing. Fixing up the apartment is costing me serious dough so it's a good way to shop frugally!
B wanted to buy some clothes too but I guess he wasn´t up for it. His mom´s cancer tumor hasn´t shrunken after her last chemotherapy treatment so while it wasn´t bad news (it hasn´t grown!) it ain't good either. B's so down and I feel so so sorry. I hung out at his parents house all day yesterday, 'cause his mom helped sew my new curtains. They are so beautiful! Nothing special but I like them all the more.
B did try on a bodywarmer. It doesn't suit his form. It reminded me of a bodywarmer I had when I was preteen. I was a bit of a wild one so one day I was rolling around on the grass of a soccer field. When I stood up I smelled something awful and it turned out I had been rolling around in some dog's turd. I took off my bodywarmer and left it there, on the field I was in such a shock. B reminded me that last summer, I was playing with my hands in the sand- I always do that, digging thing while I'm at the beach- when I asked him, what is this??? It was a turd covered in sand.
Anyway, my contractor has given me all the receipts this evening after he finished the last piece of work, I have to give him 400 euros for the materials and he said I could make my own price for his labor. Nigga whut?! I don't know shit about the stuff he did, like putting in my kitchen or bathroom. He said I should think about it and that we'll talk about it later. He has daughters. Every guy who has daughters goes easy on me. Maybe 'cause I dress in KID's CLOTHES?! Djeez I'm such a fucker. ;)
Skipped work since Wednesday, I know it ain't good but I was so fed up after working all those hours working over time. Sent out a dozen resumes and went out with some girlfriends. We had so much fun!!!!! I sometimes think about waiting tables again, just get an easy job and then work out what to do next. But I think it's not a smart thing to do, you since I have this master's degree and all...plus I make a whole lot more dough right now. But oh how I'd love to have a job that can make me catch my breath a little bit! My parents would freak out though;-)
I'm in my new apartment, spending the night here again. I have yoga class tonight and it's in my own street! How wonderful for the lazy ass that I am. :-)
Cris had a first date this week with a guy who has one hand. He lost the other one when he was 15, at new year's eve. Out here we have a lot of illegal fireworks and lots a young kids get wounded by makeshift bombs.
"He's a nice boy and all" she said. "But I just can't get over the HAND!!!"
I don't know, I thought it was kinda intimidating, in a good way. It seems that a guy with one hand could be more interesting than one with both. But that's probably bullshit, what do I know?
I always found amputated limbs intruiging, when I was 16 I made an art class assignment about an amputated Asian guy, 'Chino, the amputated motherfucker'. It was a comic book about an alcoholic teenager with one arm and one leg who spent his days getting booze from the liquor store and sleeping with his mom.
Hahaha, the humor I had in high school has stuck with me!!! :-D
I'm still a bit ill so I'm at B's one day more. I feel guilty for leaving my co worker but the over time was making me lose my mind not to mention my physical health. And, while buying your own apartment is great, it's costing me all my dough and that ain't all that bad but it takes a lot of your free time too! Going to IKEA, furniture shopping in those big ass God forsaken furniture malls, DIY-stores (djeez, I think I've been there 3 times a week for the past 4 months) and all that shit. And B doesn't like the house and is always finding something negative. He doesn't do it on purpose so I ain't mad but let me tell you, it wears you out!
So I'm happy to sleep in yesterday and today and that I'm just hanging out. Maybe I'll go to a DIY-store tonight, go pick up my new pair of jeans (bell bottoms, yeah!) and sleep in my apartment after that. But this afternoon I'm gonna just chill out and maybe read:
I bought it online but haven't started yet. I'm listening to lots of Pearl Jam in my car again. Have a nice day!
This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)