It's a beautiful Saturday!
Saturday, April 25, 2009

Nice weather and all but I'm in my house cleaning out my closet and packing stuff in. I can't believe I just put 50 pairs of jeans all in size 24/25 away. What was I a few years ago, anorexic?? (NO I wasn't)

I confessed the recreational drug use on Cris' b-day to B. I can't keep shit from him, it's not my way to go apparently. Why, I'm so grown up! Or not.

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For your viewing pleasure...
Thursday, April 23, 2009

How come this guy never seems to grow old and ugly? He's like 45 or something man!


I am a T.W.A.T.

Last weekend I had the best in-house b-day party in years! Just because I laughed my ass off with my girlfriends and some of the ugly guy-friends o' Cris. Cris only hangs out with ugly dudes. It was so hilarious. It was so fun I even blew B off: he called me at 3 am, he was with his homebuoyas and ready to leave. We kinda made plans to sleep at eachother's house but I was having so much fun I told him I wanted to stay. If I hadn't gulped down all those half-a-liters of lager I would have went home like the docile young lady that I am but give me too much beer and the bear is lose! Needless to say B wasn't too pleased with me:-S

This is how I acted, I'm such a bastard, I don't even understand why my friends still hang out with me and/or why B has been putting up with me for the past almost-six years.

Anyways: I insulted a friend of hers by screaming at him that he was a twat. It was ridiculous 'cause I didn't even know him and I hadn't even talked to him. I threw empty cigarette boxes at two of her other friends. I kept gossipping way too loud about the other people at the party with one of her girlfriends who is just as satanic as I am only she hides it way better than I do. In the end I asked a guy why he was still there. And I laughed/cackled while doing this! The next morning I apologized and used the uberlame excuse that I had too much to drink.

God I hate myself sometimes but I had a great time! The next day Emily, Cris and I had a large breakfast, stayed in bed and watched this movie:

It sucked. You'd think Liam Neeson and Famke Janssen (you go Dutchy!) would pick a movie with a reasonably realistic script. Nuh uh. It's about a Liam's and Famke's 17 y/o daughter who's going to Europe with a friend and then they fall into the hands of Easter European gangstas who smack foreign bitches up and force them to prostitute themselves. Liam's an ex CIA agent so he has all these skills to track her down. The story sounded good but it was so unrealistic, this stuff happens on a day to day basis in some places, you'd think they'd do some proper research before they write this shit down?! But no, I guess that was just too much to ask!
I say, only go see if it's on tv OR if you're a real Liam/Famke fan you should rent it 'cause it isn't their acting that's gonna bug you. They're pros man!

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Am I a small part of a damn cult??
Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I've been doing yoga for a year now, I picked it up after I started with this hell-ass job of mine because I knew I had some serious levelling out to do. The levelling out means drinking copious amounts of alcohol on weekends, doing yoga on Monday and say my prayers whenever I hit the hay sober.

Anyways, the yoga I practice is Dru Yoga. And it's really weird, if I do it, I don't reeeeally notice any change, I still get pissed off, I still hate stuff and I curse like a sailor. I feel good, but not better than in my pre-yoga years. I'm not at all zZzen. But, when I don't go for a week I start to get agitated and feel hard instead of soft. I can't really explain it. So yesterday, being all happy about my class the day before, I started to google this particular type o' yoga and I came across a lot of bad news about Dru Yoga. Mansukh Patel, the guy who started it all is supposedly a cult leader who has sexually harrassed his naive followers and lots of people who have exited the group (Life foundation) have made statements about the crazy stuff that's going on there.

And I just don't know... yoga makes me feel good and my teacher's a very sweet lady but come to think of it, the building is a very beautiful brownstone where people (voluntarily) work to fight against poverty. She teaches in her big ass living room. This all exactly fits the profile of the slandering websites. They say the teachers must donate all of their income to the organisation and the foundation buys lots of real estate (?!). The followers only get like some pocket change. She really does live like someone who doesn't (have to) have a lot of things. You know, second hand furniture and stuff. But I thought that was the way yoga teachers are???

Do I stay here and risk that I'm contributing to a cult by paying my fees??? Or do I find another yoga group in a normal setting? Djeez, I just wanted to chill the fuck out and then you read this shit!!

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Reading dark shit
Saturday, April 18, 2009

Since I didn't have any internet access at home I read more, I read the Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue fame. I really don't like that glam rock shit, HATE IT to be honest but I love a good rock story. Damn, heroin sure equals dark and unhappy! I'll never be touching that shite! Maybe once? Naah, just kidding. They all end up living happily ever after so that's good. I read he was dating Kat von D. so if that's not happy I don't know what is.

And now I'm reading this biography of Axl Rose. It's ok but the writer's opinion seeples through the words which is not a real good thing in a biography if you ask me. But it's an exhillirating story, about the music and how those guys became so big and all the temptation and paranoia that comes with being a rock star of that caliber.

Since I'm pretty unhappy with the whole work situ, maybe reading these fucked up drugs stories aren't the best picks right now. I'm gonna finish the Axl book and then go pick out a happy book. Some chick lit shit or whatever.


Keepin' my head up!

Sorry that rant was on top for the past two weeks but my internet got disconnected too soon. I'm here 'till May 1 so I had them put it back on.

But, here I go again: Aaah! I had three job interviews this week and two of them went shitty and one went well but I got the ixnay on two, included the one that went well. They dug me but they went with another girl that had worked at the company before. Ugh.

I'm just gonna continu searching untill I find a nice work place. Meanwhile I have a well paid job in my field so it's not all that bad. B is soooo supportive it's almost scary haha!

And it's weekend! I'm cleaning my house out for the big move, throwing stuff away feel really good. I'm sooo ready for a new chapter in my life and while not everything, or better yet while everything's NOT going the way I'd want them to I'm just gonna take life as it comes and not freak out too much 'cause it's useless.

Tonight's Cris' B-day so I'm gonna see lots of friends and family of hers and drink lots and lots and lots of beer.

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Life ain't so shitty???
Wednesday, April 1, 2009

While I had two super duper weeks, this week hasn't been treating me well.

Up: I won a book gift certificate. I was invited for a job interview at a graphic design school. I was invited for two other talks about other positions, which meant I had three interviews yesterday. I'm the only one going (at this agency) for a writing job, they've rejected all the other appliers.

Down: I was rejected for the job at the graphic school. They said they were ready to take me but one other person had more experience in education. He asked if I was happy about the fact that there were 140 applicants and I made it to the top. Dude, there's only one winner. The rest of us are losers. Second best is losing too, in my book or am I just going Kurt Cobain on y'all?
I scratched my brother's car while trying to park. I scratched my mom's car a month ago. I don't know why these family members keep lending me their cars! My bro is on vacay. I'll tell him when he gets back. I was in that car for 5 hours in total yesterday, got detoured for an hour and 15 minutes because of the Afghanistan top meeting with ole' miss reefer suckin' Clinton. I was ready to give back my driver's licence and just go back to moving by train.
The writing job firm is really really difficult and strict. They keep rejecting everybody. It's not a good thing that they are so damn picky.

I don't like my job. I don't like my boss. I really want another job. Please God, help me find another job. Amen, brotha!

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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)