Decisions, decisions...
Sunday, January 11, 2009

When I was younger I depended on my instincts with every decision I made. I left home very early, and wasn't afraid. It was the only way and I just knew in my heart that I'd turn out alright. I dropped out of school too at age 14 and I wasn't afraid of the future, I figured I'd go back eventually get my diploma. And I did. And when I finished high school I enrolled in college like my parents wanted but I dropped out after a few months. I wasn't quite ready yet and it was so easy to quit. I was certain of the fact that I'd go back later, when I was ready and get my education. I did, one year later and it was great! I loved college. After college I wanted to get my Master's and enrolled. I was very sad at the time and I just couldn't force myself to pick up a book. So I quit uni with all the confidence in the world that I just had to do some other things first and that I'd go back later. And I did, I enrolled the next year and everything went fine.

Now I have all the degrees I was certain I'd get and I found a steady job very quick. And now, a little under a year later I find myself not liking the job. But I'm afraid to take the plunge and leave before I have something else. And there were also jobs that I didn't get because of my month's notice... If I'd be available quicker then my chances would increase a great deal.

But with all the bad news about the economy and all the problems the US is having I'm scared to leave. And I really wonder what the hell happened to that spunky, fearless kid I used to be. She was so much more FUN!

I had dinner with Sascha last Thursday and had dinner and drinks with Ann last Friday. And both nights I heard myself complaining about my job and about not wanting to go there anymore. Ugh.

And I've been listening to a lot of 90's rock bands and it has made me think about those days. And I'm building up my strength!

Something's gotta give!

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1 Comments:
Blogger Kurt had this to say:

My fearless kid didn't need health insurance, and he didn't own a thousand pounds of crap. I don't think I could get him back.

January 11, 2009 at 7:18 AM 


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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)