Do you remember the times?
Sunday, December 28, 2008


Aaah, I used to play 'The boy is mine' from Brandy& Monica all the time! I totally digged the 90's music. And then they just got off the radar. I heard about some car accident and law suits, boyfriends who killed themselves and shit like that. Crazy shit.
I hope they're doing ok!

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What a waste...


B and I wanted to see this movie for a long time. We finally got to see it and it sucked ASS! We saw about 45 min. before we put a stop to it. I know it got rave reviews and it has a 90% score on IMDB but I just couldn't see it. Maybe we were just expecting too much?

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Let's get it on


Hope y'all had a nice Christmas. We had lots of fun, got to hang out with lots of family members and ate sooooo much meat, I think I'm gonna go vegan for a week!

But I'm glad it's over and I'm looking forward to 2009. Hope it brings better health and more happiness for us all. And a little less black and grey!

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Guilt
Sunday, December 21, 2008

I was brought up with religion. My mom was a devoted Catholic, which meant my bro and I were too. We went to church almost every Sunday and it was great. I had a great time and I really digged Jesus Christ. I also liked the singing and all the other kids there. Then my mom turned 30, went through belated puberty and stopped going. My Dad on the other hand, discovered Allah and his Mohammed and brought me to Mosque. Since I hit my teens really hard, raging hormones, bad boyfriends and dabbling in drugs and everything I stopped going to mosque too.

The thing with organized religion is that it's such a hard-ass guilt-trip. They really try to scare and 'guilt' you into doing stuff. Or, better yet, NOT doing stuff. The hole hell-thing made me go bonkers. I was scared for quite a few years. But I'm beginning to shed that feeling more and more. Being scared of hell or reprimands from God is kinda ridiculous. Bad things will happen to you no matter what, you know what I mean?

But still, I love God.

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Hooray for babies

We had pretty nice weekend, all things considered. B and I had some good conversation about house buying (I know, this is gettin' old), we went to his brother in law's b-day, went to see a play, ate sushi and had a wonderful lunch with Sandy during which she told me she's PREGNANT!!! She's ten years older than me and I think it was a now-or-never thing. She's 6 weeks far now. It's still walkin' on egg shells but I think she's doing great! She looks great! She looks happy. I don't really know about the boy, given the fact that he has punched her a couple of times and threw her out of a bar once. Talk about angerment issues....But she's 37 y/o: she's a grown woman.

This is the first friend that's going to have a baby. I have one acquaintence/friend who has a child but she's not really a friend. This is really big. I love it.

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bad bad bad driver
Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I flunked the driver test. AAAAAAAH!

And I have to go to work now. AAAAAAAAAH!

I think I'm just gonna lay low for the rest of the year. No more job interviews and no more driver's tests.

2009 is the year, babyyyy... mark my words. (hope they won't bite me in the ass)

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The less burden the better
Sunday, December 14, 2008

I used to care a lot about what my family thought of me. You know, grannies, mom, dad, uncles, nieces and nephews. I'm 27 now and I've realized that I do not anymore. At one point I started to care less and less and it's still descending as we speak. I like it. I feel much more free right now but I feel a bit more alone too. There was a time when my mom was still with her second husband and we'd go visit a uncle or granny every weekend. We ate together, we hung out and around 10 pm I'd leave to go into town with my friends. That was the case every weekend.
I also went to have dinner at my dad's every week, sometimes more often than that.

And now, I haven't been around to my mom's house since this summer. I get to see my dad 2 months a year on average. The rest of the year we talk on the telephone and I still tell him everything. I confide in him and it's great.

Lots of stuff happened in the past years and I think my life is going the way God intended. Sometimes it's hard but it's good to know things happen and not happen because they're supposed to.

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This was cute and fun and all but...


...it was so freakin' long! What kind of kid can sit through 2+ hours looking at a robot?!
Damn, Disney!

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Living on my own

B has been so so down. On Friday I had a sleepover at Cris' house so we didn't see eachother but we'd made plans to meet up yesterday. During the week I'd made half assed plans to go to a fair for rich people with a few girlfriends (I'm NOT RICH but some of my friends like these kinds of scenes and I hobble along sometimes, just for fun. I always laugh my ass off, there are so many weirdos at these joints) and to go have dinner in town with a few other girlfriends in the evening. But, because B comes first right now and he said he wanted to hang out I told my pals that I couldn't make it. It was ok, I see my friends all the time, we'll be going to fairs and restaurants for years to come so that was totally cool. So, right before it was time to meet B called to tell me he was feeling like serious shit and he opted to go play a snooker tournament.

I just couldn't call up my friends and go: "Oh, since my bf has made other plans at the last minute I am free to meet up with you guys" So I stayed in the whole day to just dick around on my computer and do a bit of cleaning. But at night, I just had to get out! So I did call Kim and I went over there and we had a nice dinner and lots of laughs. Lots of shitty stories too, one girl's mom just had her breast amputated because of breast cancer and another girl's dad has been sick for quite a few years, having had heart attacks and different strokes.

In the evening B was still not feeling well, the tournament went bad: he couldn't hit a ball and he again wasn't up for doing something together. He sounded depressed.

This morning I called him and he wasn't feeling good. He told me he'd take a shower and call me back. When he called I didn't feel like meeting up and I told him I was cranky. His voice changed immediately and he said it was ok. We hung up.

I'm sorry and I feel terrible but I am relieved I never took the plunge and go live together with him.

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Never heard this one in my life
Saturday, December 13, 2008

I didn't get the job....because they thought I was too sweet, too soft!!!
They said this to a girl who, when she was little didn't dare to take an aura picture at a paranormal fair because she was afraid it would come out black and everyone would see that she was satan's child. I'm not kidding, I was a weird little girl.

I don't know what to think of it. They definitely didn't get it. I didn't get it either!
Well, I'm just gonna go along, keep my eyes open for my dream job. Or the next best thing, whichever one comes first. I thought about not putting in any more effort into this job searching thing, at least 'till the EU economy sees a bit more sun. But I'm just not like that. If I want something, I need to go get it. Get whatchu want or die trying, wise words from 50 cent.

B is very very very depressed. I don't know what to do. I just try to cheer him up and be nice. What else can I do?

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work and cars
Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I had a job interview last week and it went ok, they were really nice and the manager told me in the end that she had a good feeling about me. So that was good. It was on Tuesday and she said that she'd let me know on Thursday. But she got sick on Thursday and I called almost everyday to the intermediary (my contact person there is ill too) and she was still sick today. Aaaah!

I wanna know something now!

Plus, I have my driver's exam next Tuesday. Ugh. I'm not the best driver you'll ever stand next to at a red light but I have to be good enough to drive. For fuck's sake I see the biggest idiots in cars, why couldn't I do it?

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Body of lies
Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Went to see Body of Lies with Martin tonight. I totally dug it! I forgot Leonardo DiCaprio after swooning in his/my Growing Pains phase. But the guy can ACT. The story is very good, but I'm too tired to explain. It's about terrorists, the CIA, the US government but not in a cliche way. There are a lot of exiting moments with bombs and torture and everything else that goes on in war. And there's quite some space for people and their motives and beliefs. The characters are not flat like in lots of movies. Anyways, I'm a fan of Leo again. I say go see!

But, look at this ugly ass poster... when was this designed, in the 80's or something?? Surely somebody in that multi million dollar movie corp could've stopped and LOOK for one second and give it the damn ixnay?!



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Gosh I'm so stupid

I made my bed on Monday and guess what?? My cell phone was under my bed all along!
But I had already blocked my card so I can not call out but peeps can call me. I had a suck-unsuck moment.

The job interview went alright. In the end the manager said that she had a good feeling about me and she smiled. So that gives me hope. She said she'd let me know tomorrow. I have to get back to work tomorrow, the longer I don't go, the more I don't wanna go at all. I really hate it there, now that I took a sniff at other places. It's so formal. And I'm sooooo not formal. I can be if need be, but I'm not a happy chap to say the least.

Also, when I was drunk ass this weekend and ate at my former workplace, the sushi bar I heard that my former boss-lady was pregnant. It was a very busy night and she worked her ass off. So at the end of the night she was sitting on a crutch, crying. So, I said I could help her out with work if she needed somebody. I thought she'd say "Naaah", but she said "Yes!" And today she called. I didn't pick up the phone 'cause I'm a coward but I think I'll have to step up to the plate and help out. I really don't wanna, I work full time as it is but I told her I'd help and now I have to. Maybe I'll do it for a month or so. Or just try it a few times and then tell her it's too much.

That'll show me to say stuff that I don't mean. Alcohol... why do I dig it so?

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This was my weekend...
Monday, December 1, 2008

Ate sushi. Drank too much wine, Bailey shots and beer. Listened to a live band. Had a friend of a friend irritate me by giving me a few "friendly" pokes on the side of the head. Losing my temper by throwing his glass on the floor like the mad woman of the North (I don't suppose he's gonna touch me ever again). Made peace with Karolyn one of my former best friends who I haven't seen in a year or so. Lost my cell phone. Puked my insides out. Slept over at Emily. Went to see B. Had dinner with B's parents. Called in sick. Made an appointment for a job interview tomorrow.

Let's just say I had a weekend like I had them when I was 18 and free.

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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)