Check it out, a new way of clubbing
Monday, October 27, 2008

I'm not a real movie poster but you have to check out where we went this weekend. This dubstep crowd goes crazy like I've never seen a crowd go and it really shook me up. I'm a tiny girl so when a guy at one point stood on my foot, we went out of the pit and danced on the side the whole evening. When I got out of the bath room one guy walked up on me from behind, and I was all pumped up from the dancing and the music, I stepped up to him and pushed him. He stuttered: "I, I, I didn't do it on purpose!" So sweet. I got a bit carried away but I was just so hype!

B and I were talking the next morning: "Uhm.. last night, I did felt a bit too old!" LOL! We never go clubbing at these kinds of nights, we always go dancing to more mellow kinds of music. And it's never like this. So I wonder, if this is what clubbing is nowadays, how will it be for our children? The nice thing about dubstep is that it's a crowd from all walks a life, black, brown, yellow and white. And not a lot of real agressiveness.

The red thump on the left top side is B's! Sorry for the bad sound quality but you have to witness the craziness!

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Having no fun at work drains the life outta ya!

I really really really hate my job. Everybody I love has quit, so while the rest of the people working there are nice, but they're not "my kind" if you catch my drift. I need people I can be myself with, not people I have to be polite to. Apart from that, it just bores the shit out of me, I like the work but the workplace sucks hairy, moldy, stinky ass. I always have yoga class on Monday but I didn't go because I feel like crying.

I also keep waking up at night, last night I dreamt that this girl I knew when I was little, of whom I know she was a incest victim was dead. My grandma kept trying make her lie down flat, you know because she was dead and she had to lie down peacefully but her legs kept bending, it was awful. And last week I dreamt about an ex boyfriend who I keep in touch with via facebook. We were together talking and we were both so sad that we didn't have eachother anymore. I was all shook up when I woke up... what's up with that? I love B!

The not-being-happy-at-work-thing just bugs the hell out of me. IT'S FUCKIN' UP MY HIGH!! I did get a call from a recruitment agency today and I'm going in next Thursday to talk. I hope it'll all work out. I do get a fatter paycheck this week, let's hope that'll kill a bit of pain.

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Digging
Saturday, October 25, 2008

I wanted to see this movie for so long, I missed it in theaters, 'cause everything that's not a Hollywood-God-damn-blockbuster only plays for a short while and then it wasn't up for downloading for like a whole year. I bugged B all the time to check if it was up yet and last week it finally was. I loved it!! It's a movie about connection, love, hope and despair. Diego Luna (who was also great in Y tu mama tambien) really nailed his character. He's so soft and vulnerable. And he can DANCE. I wish I could dance like that. Marilyn played really well too. Her creepy husband was seriously creepy so all in all the actors were all very good. And, of course I got to see Anita Pallenberg as The Queen, and I loved her. Loved her voice especially. If you wanna see a real movie you should definitely go see this one!

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Not all fun and games. But still lots of play!

B and I wanted to go to a dubstep party in our capital but we couldn't find tickets. We didn't want to go, drive all the way up there and have it been sold out, we'd be fucked up. But, I entered a contest and I didn't expect to win but I DID and we got in for free!!! So last night B and I danced the night away, we had lots of fun I really like going out with that guy. The crowd was really hyped, you could even feel the dancefloor going up and down! I've never been to parties where the crowd goes wild like this, you know people get crazy at concerts but I've never seen it like this with a dj. I really dig this shit. Plus, B and I are doing great, it's superb.

Tonight I'm going out with Emily, I'm a bit tired and I'd rather hang out at home but Emily's going through a rough time, cause she's lost her job and has to have a small cervix-cancer thing removed next month. Apparently they've found it in time and loads of other women have it (we know a bunch of girls who had something like it removed too) but it still SUCKS ASS. So she needs some special attention. So I'm gonna chill out for a bit and then hit the club with her!

Out here women get pap smears every two years or so from the age of 30. But I'm gonna go in next week to get one. I feel great but I'm a bit anxious by this news and I want to know if I'm alright.

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Family filled
Saturday, October 18, 2008

Yesterday was my uncle's 40th b-day, tonight we're going to B's granny's 83th b-day but only after we stop by my aunt's to celebrate the fact that she's seen Sarah.

I love my family but B and I were talking yesterday about how we used to choose to not appear at these family festivities and just went out to parties (you know, raves and stuff, get pissed and have FUN) or just stayed in bed the whole evening. And gradually we've reached some level of maturity, where we do the right thing and go. It's all good this way, and it's what's supposed to happen I guess but part of me just wants to skip everything and just do whatever the hell we want!!!

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When I was a little kid...
Sunday, October 12, 2008

I was totally confused about who the REAL James Bond was. In every Bond movie I saw another man being Bond and I just couldn't wrap my brain around it. I kept asking my brother who the real James Bond was and he kept explaining that they were all James Bond. At some point he must have lost his patience because he screamed at me: There isn't one James Bond, they are actors who play the same role, why don't you get it!!!

I used to hear about plane crashes in the news and people always referred to the black box. I thought the black box was a box that when the shit had really hit the fan, and there wasn't anything the pilot could do anymore, he could open the box and every technical problem he had would magically be solved and the people in the plane would be saved. I genuinely thought the black box had magic powers.

Guess I was a bit dim. But when I think of the way my mind worked as a kid, I just can't help but smile and feel a bit sorrowful that it doesn't work like that anymore.

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Something's definitely wrong with my work ethic
Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I have been playing hookey this last three days and applying for jobs :-S I was sick but I've been better for two days. But I thought, what the heck, I could really use these few extra days.
Guess I still haven't grown up like I should have been doing!
Tomorrow I'll be going back to work though, I called work every day and today my manager told me there was a looooooot of work to do. So I guess that's good, it means I don't have to get bored and the days will go by faster.

I really hope another job's around the corner, though.

The good part about not doing what you're supposed to be doing, is that I cleaned my house, even washed the windows! How's that for excitement?!

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I'm not cut out for this company/shit
Sunday, October 5, 2008


This was the result of our graffiti workshop. And it also made me seriously doubt my work right now. The guys who gave the workshop were so passionate about what they were doing, they were around the same age as I am. I'm not passionate about my workplace. I like what I do... but not where I do it. I don't know but ever since the incident with my wacko ceo, I'm only about 10% as enthusiastic about the place. Maybe less. When we're talking about new plans and stuff that I can do, I just couldn't care less. It's not good for my boss and it sure as hell ain't good for me! So I've decided to really look out for other job opportunities. Every sunday I go through all the job-websites and check out every other site and newspaper I can get my hands on and then I write letters. I've written a bunch today and I figure if I keep doing that I will be somewhere better before 2009 hits me on the head. Let's hope I'll find it, before that. December 1 would make me very very very happy!


I've had a very nice weekend, Emily came by on friday and I cooked for her. We smoked some reefers and had the monstrous munchies!!

We ate 10 of these, each. Yummy!

Emily is gonna loose her job, so she has to find a new one by January. So we're in the same boat, although my boss doesn't know I'm blowing this joint. Yet.
And yesterday B and I went shopping and had sushi. We haven't been seeing as much of eachother as we'd like to but we're still enjoying eachother's company more than anyone else's so that's good. We went to a mortgage advisor last week and can buy a beautiful house together but I think we're gonna rent first. My work situ isn't stable enough for me to go and put ourselves in tremendous debt. It's just not smart. We're going to look at 2 houses this week, and then move in together. WOW!

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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)