This is the last call for alcohol
Sunday, June 29, 2008

God. I went to a festival today, I was drunk (or better yet, am still a bit drunk) and I threw some wine on people, had an intense discussion that embarrassed a few of my friends and I bumped into one of my best friends, Karoly whose mom said hi to me in the most enhousiastic manner and K and I are having a ridiculous fight and we ignored eachother. I tried to call her and texted her that whatever happened between us, I HATE that fact that we igore eachother.

Needless to say I shouldn't drink like this. Ugh. I also went to a comedy night last friday with Emily and I was shitfaced. It was one hell of a weekend and I guess I should just hit the sack early and chill the fuck out. Sjeez, I should not be drinking this much anymore.

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I'm too tired to post...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008



...but ain't this a haunting pic? I loved Boy George when I was little, I liked Karma Chameleon. But now? He's plain old and scary.

Our boss treated us to nice sandwiches for lunch. Because we hit the 100 order-mark. Yahoo! This is exhilirating! NOT.

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I love Kevin Lard
Friday, June 20, 2008

Finally, weekend!!!

I went to Cris' house this evening, she has quit smoking since last monday so she had a pretty intense day. She and Emily are still quarreling, or should I say giving eachother the silent treatment since she slept with Emily's best mate. Ugh.
We had a nice evening, we watched this movie:



Kevin Bacon is gettin' old. And I mean that literally.
It was a flick full of cliches but it was entertaining nonetheless. Lots of chasing-scenes which always seem to make my record skip. Plus, lots of slaughtering, as one could expect from the director of Saw. So it was good.

Good night. Hope y'all have a great weekend!

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Pointillism and fauves
Monday, June 16, 2008

I'm feeling a bit down these days but obligations called: we had a family barbeque at B's aunt this saturday. Ugh. I am awkwardly timid at those events and not because I'm shy. But because I have nothing to say. Plain and simple. And I'm not one to yack about bullshit out of awkwardness. I'm one to just shut the fuck up.

But yesterday B and I went to Van Gogh's museum. It was great! I love Van Gogh. He's the first artist I'd encountered in my childhood years and I loved his paintings from the get-go. His hauntingly beautiful self portraits always struck an almost painful, sensitive chord with me, even at age 10. Or maybe especially. The fact that they said he was crazy, never made money off his art in his life, cut off his earlobe and eventually killed himself really had an impact on me. Still has.

I don't know why tragedy attracts me so.

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I'm in awe
Friday, June 13, 2008

Since my last post was so damn depressing I'm posting these pictures of Steve Mcqueen. Enjoy!





Steve with his first wife, Neile Mcqueen Toffel




Can't resist mugshots!

Beautiful... yet very veiny;-)

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When a child is not happy, he's never ever happy again as an adult. He can never be truly happy.

My mom is leaving her latest boyfriend (once again) and told me to move out of this house where we, in paper, live together. She has decided that she's going to live here. B and I have been talking about buying a house together but we'll probably won't get that ball rolling until after this summer. We want to do things in our own time.
I told her my Dad is coming to visit me next month and that he comes first. Until he flies back I'm not leaving.

I also told her that I'm through with her. I love her but I can't stand her egocentric ways anymore. She has always let herself and the men in her life come first. I was physically sick from all of this for two days but I'm feeling better now. I think maybe it's part of growing up, my mom is getting another place in my life. My brother didn't speak to her for 2 years when she divorced her husband before this boyfriend. In fact, she was persona non grata with our whole family for two years. Even my grandma didn't want to see her. I was the only one who was there for here and stood by her. I wasn't happy either with the way she lived her life and the way she hurt people. But after hating her through my whole pubescent years I was determined to have a solid relationship with her. And we did have that for a few years.

But now that she's "in" the family again she pulls a stunt like this. I really hope I can do a better job if I ever have kids of my own.

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"I live for myself and I answer to nobody."
Thursday, June 12, 2008


He was abandoned by his father when he was just a baby. His mom loved but left him with his uncle. He went to a reform school for boys because the way he was going, he'd end up a criminal. He served in the marine corps. He had all kinds of odd jobs like working in a sandal store and delivering television sets. He was married three times to beautiful and talented ladies. He was a talented racecar and motorcycle driver and had a natural talent for horse back riding. He died at age fifty.

I have to read more about this guy. I love his story even though I know jack shit about him.

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This chapter is now really closed.
Monday, June 9, 2008

I finished my education last january but some shit went wrong with my grades, so I couldn't get my diploma and I still had to pay tuition. It sucked. But, today I went in to get my diploma!!! It wasn't a ceremony because I was too late for that...due to suckage. So I had to wait 'till the next ceremony in October and pay until then or I could just go and pick the muhafucka up. Today I did. My mom wanted to come with me but I told her it was ok... It wasn't a biggy and I'd go alone.

Well, after I got it, I felt really weird. I felt alone, melancholy hit me. It was the last time I'd ever go to uni. Maybe if I have kids one day and they'll graduate. Or maybe I'll go back when I'm older. You know, every once in a while you'll find some old dude in class, wanting to learn more and asking and talking way too much. Maybe I'll be that dude one day.

I had yogaclass this evening and that felt good. I think I feel better when they reimburse that damn tuition. I think I'm gonna fill in the forms right now!

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Orangeday!
Thursday, June 5, 2008

I'm a part of the meme. I hope it's orange enough for y'all! I really really really dig Jane Fonda. You should read her autobiography. She's so strong and vulnerable at the same time. Love that.

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I wish I was a baller
Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I reeeally wish I had more free time to spend dicking around on the internet.

But it's 22:30 already and I need my 8 hours of sleep although I never make that. It's always 7, 7,5 if I'm lucky. So I'm gonna hang my clothes out to dry, pick out my clothes for tomorrow and make my sandwiches. I'm such a boring, working class girl!

I need some recreational drug-use in my life, pronto.

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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)