Bashing other people's parents is not a nice thing to do
Sunday, March 30, 2008

God I love my friends! I went to Sas' place friday night to smoke a ton of reefers, drink lots of beers, listen to some tunes and talk about rune stones and tarot cards, extraterrestial life forms, non-linear time and other dimensions, the end of the world and how Ibiza is one big affirmation. Needless to say we had great fun! She so cool, I believe she's a witch with the body of a bombshell with fake boobs. Go figure!

I had a baby weekend!! Yesterday B and I went to litte Rowan's (son of B's closest female friend) first birthday and it was really nice to see him. He is a very, very, very cute little boy. But, he's very late with everything, he has only been sitting (with no help) for one day and he doesn't crawl or say Mommy yet, let alone walk. But the company was not... not my cup of tea, to put it mildly. B dated Gwen's best friend aka mrs. Sauerkraut a few years ago and she was there. B has a few exes that I can totally hang out with, although we never do but when we see eachother on parties we hug and chat and stuff, everybody's cool. But I am always happy to see that I look better (healthier, happier, loving the skin I'm in even in spite of PMS!) than any of B's exes and waaay better than this particular one. Ha! I can't believe I just wrote such a stupid thing. This is very superficial (I KNOW, so shoot me!) and I do believe that women should let go of there competitiveness and be allies. But not yesterday and not with ugly bitter ones! I totally bonded with her daughter though, so that was pretty cool too, she has a really cute little girl.

Then Gwen and her stupid parents interrogated me about my new job and asked about my salary. I don't even know these people, I don't want to talk about myself and my paycheck with them. Plus her father has been sued (I do not live in a country where suing is something people do very often/quick, it's quite uncommon) and found guilty for sexual intimidation by his secretary and talked to me with too much interest, gave me his business card too fast and told me to call him way too quick. Horny freaky old man. And her mom, wow, talk about F-A-K-E.
I made sure we got the fuck outta dodge as soon as we'd been there for the appropriate amount of time. And not a minute longer.

And today we went to see my nephew newborn baby, aaaw, he was so cute! It was a very nice, cute little party.

I have a day off tomorrow before starting at my new workplace on the the 1st of april. Yay!

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It's the outside that counts
Thursday, March 27, 2008

To celebrate the beginning of my working life, I've ordered a bag especially made for grown-ups. I don't buy a lot of hand bags, three a year or something but I totally wear them out (all day every day, rain or shine) and by the time I'm through with them they look like they belong to a homeless person.

I bought quite a nice and stylish bag before Christmas but it wasn't a very good idea to take it to the damn tropics for a month.


To bore or not to bore...

I was supposed to be meeting Emily and Cris for drinks but I blew them off. I don't know, working 8 hours a day really wears me out...
So now I'm sitting here behind my computer (such a nerd) with a facial mask (in desperate need of a zit-shield, I hate them fuckin' hormones) on while painting my fingernails. There's always tomorrow!!

Oh and I got to know myself a little better in 2007 and 2008 so far. I really don't want to be someone's assistant. It's not that I think it's beneath me but it's just not for me. I have to think for myself and then act upon my own (crazy/smart/dumbass/freaky/boring as hell) brainwaves in order to feel good and be the best person that I can be. So whatever happens in my career in the future, that is one of the prerequisites.

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Me and my big head
Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Now, don't get me wrong. I totally DIG my new sleeve up here. It's so sweet and girly and sassy. My hairstyle even kinda matches my "new" haircut. But, don't you think the hat makes my head look like an acorn?!

Still, I wouldn't change it for the world!


Look what I've got!!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Yeeehaaa! Isn't this pretty? My girl soapbox.SUPERSTAR (she ROCKS, I tell you) hooked me up with some killer looks!
I was very much attached to my old layout, I really dug that one and first blog-loves never die...but new days are dawnin' and my new sleeve fits me perfectly!

Thanks, Misty! Thank you for the suprise, you've made my day!!

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I love weeds!
Monday, March 24, 2008

I can not help it... I think he's hot!
But that's probably most because he seems like such a fun guy, his role in Weeds is hilarious. He is a credible actor and I really dig that. He also reminds me a bit of B; that's always a good thing.

Plus, he's hung like a donkey;-)

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The drunk and the restless

I've been kind of restless ever since I graduated. This new working girl thing is so .. different than anything I've ever done before. I feel like I'm walking on a ridge. So yesterday, after making up with Brian (I kicked his ass) we went for drinks and decided to go bowling to blow off some steam. We usually go to movies, plays, restaurants, musea or shopping on weekends but sometimes your body screams for some physical pastime. So bowling it was. We drank lots of beers and it seemed that the more I drank, the better I got. We had lots of fun!

Today I went to my mom's for dinner, my grandma & grandpa were there too. It was nice but a little headache has been bugging me this whole week. So I'm just gonna hit the sack early and be fresh for my last week of work at the old place tomorrow.

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He is there!
Saturday, March 22, 2008

I LOVED this movie! Loved him having different identities. I too believe that there's not one "real" me. Some people say you're totally yourself when your home alone when nobody's watching. I disagree, I think you are always yourself but different proporties and features that are all part of you come out in different situations, times and company. And then there's this vision of what people around you think you are but I think that what they perceive also influences who you are at different times. So those people "make" you, too.

I loved the cast, Charlotte Gainsbourg was wonderful, as were Heath Ledger and Richard Gere. Also the little boy, Marcus Carl Franklin was fierce. I loved the way he talked and when he says his name "Woody Guthrie" it sounds so precious. Martin and I had sushi and the 50 year old Chinese waitress was being a total bitch. We had lots of sake so we didn't let it get to us. And Martin is far more easy going than me so that made me chill instead of making a big deal about the waitress. The lady next to me at the theatre asked me if I had smoked a joint, she thought so by hearing me laugh and giggle so much.

We had lots of fun, yesterday. I say go see.

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Stupid shitty boy

B only goes out to drink and dance with his pals a few times a year. I go out 3 out of 4 weekends, most months. But, wether I'm drunk and/or out of my mind and/or puking my ass out or not I always call him when I'm in a bar or discotheque and I always call him when I get home. Sometimes it's waaaay past bedtime and then I just yack into his voicemail like a crazy person. It's what we agreed to do, you know, to make sure we're home safe and not let the other one worry. And since I know B isn't cheering me on when I go out a lot with my friends it seems like the best thing to do. And the deal is that, when he goes out he does the same.

Well he has NEVER called me when he goes out, in all of the 5 years we've been dating. And I always give him a hard time about it, yet he never does call me. And yesterday he went out and didn't call me, again.

So I gave him shit. And the stupid mofo says: "Be mad at me but drop it after that, and let's go and hang out, we never get to see eachother as much as we want to during the week. I said I was sorry"

FUCK HIM. I don't wanna hang out, I'm fuckin' angry at him. Why do people do the same stupid thing over and over again for years on end and think saying sorry will make it all better?! That's so stupid.


One day, some day
Friday, March 21, 2008





B. junior

We don't have any kids but if we ever get to have one (or five) boy(s) then these are the names for them. B doesn't really like 'em, but he'll come around. He always does!


Peter Pan syndrome

I had a small anxiety attack this week. I said yes to the formal manager guy after so-so negotiations and it hit me. I'm gonna sign my contract next week and then my freedom's over with. I only got 22 vacation days a year. The law says you have to get at least 20 days so this is not bad, I guess. But it ain't GOOD either!!! We won't be able to go on vacation for a month in 2008, that's for sure. And all of a sudden it all seemed so boring to me... you work during the day... in the evenings you are too tired to really do something except for some cooking and cleaning. I really don't want to spend my evenings looking at the damn telly for the rest of my working life. And I'm gonna make sure I won't. I've also been sick these past few days so being in the house for 3 days in a row made me feel extra sucky.

I've been looking forward to this for the past, 10 years or something.. you know, being independent, finishing my education, having my own cash. But now I see it comes with a whole new set of obligations.

To soothe my aching soul, I've bought a bunch of Lush bathproducts. Love it! And tonight, Martin and I are gonna have sushi and go see the Bob Dylan movie.

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I'm such a lucky girl!
Monday, March 17, 2008

They want to hire me!!!

Only, I'll be making as much money as I make now, only I'll work more hours so I get more and I'm working under my level at this point. I've told them that I think it's not enough and that I'll have to think about it. I also told the formal manager guy that if he couldn't offer me more, I do want a date set in black and white to talk about my functioning and a salary rise. We agreed that I could think about this for two days and that we'd call eachother on wednesday. So if he gives me a bonus at the end of every year, cover my travelling expenses and enough vacation time then the deal is sealed. Of course I ended the conversation with that I'm very enthousiastic and happy that they want to hire me.

I know that this sounds like I'm a greedy monster. But it's partially bluff. I mean, I know I get paid pretty damn well at the firm I'm working at now and the work is not really rocking my boat. And this jobs sounds so much more exciting!! So I think I'm gonna say yes regardless but you know, just want to see what they come up with.

I am not and never will be, a yes-woman.


So graceful miss Marianne Faithfull
Sunday, March 16, 2008

Although I know getting older means my health will decline and my looks will turn to dust, I look forward to those days with a smile on my face.


I want this JOB!

I'm feeling a bit nervous these past few days, and it's because of the formal place where I went to meet the big cheese past thursday. The interview went ok, I guess. The man had a big ass greenish-blueish-Mikhail Gorbatsjov-like spot that covered his whole lower lip. So that startled me for a minute but not for long because the man fired loads of difficult questions on me at full speed. Maybe that's his strategy to trick people into forgetting ones remarkable features.

After a few minutes I found the guy quite charming and he helped me feel more at ease. The more formal manager guy was there too, functioning as Gorbatsjov's sidekick and he kept smiling at me. I don't know...that felt like a positive thing but one can never guess what these middle aged white dudes in high positions are thinking.

Anyways, there is only one other candidate at this point so I've got a 50 percent chance of landing this thing. I'm excited. I hope I get this gig. I hope I can finally move forward with my life.

B and I went out for Italian food yesterday. We're in a very happy phase right now, we're both feeling very comfortable in our own skin and that makes it far better when we're together. I'm really enjoying this time we have, and I hope things will continue to look up and we can move in together in the near future.


A relaxed weekend
Saturday, March 15, 2008

I just came back for an afternoon drinking tea and gossiping with Sandy. I haven't seen her in a very long time, both busy with work, school and going on trips. She likes to talk as much as I do so we always sit for hours and talk about everything under the sun. She has a "new" man in her life and he's borderline paranoid so she had lots of weird stories to tell!
If she goes out in a top that's a bit revealing, he goes: "Why do you have to show people that you have great boobs? Who do you want to show them to?"
Some men?!?!

B's working this whole weekend, he has to shoot a little video thing tomorrow so I think I'm gonna take him out to dinner tonight to unwind. Plus, I don't feel like cooking right now;-)

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Only one problem and that one's a bitch.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008

One of my best friends, Karolyn, had an std over 5 years ago. It was top secret, I went to the clinic with her, she got help and everything's fine. Now 5 years later she has befriended Emily, another good friend of mine. I haven't heard from Karolyn since I've been back from vacation and I texted her 2 days ago to ask where she was at. Now I got an angry email telling me I'm hypocrit because Emily mentioned the std while they were hanging out a few weeks ago. Karolyn and I got in a few fights over the past 10 years because she has told people my secrets a few times and it always got me in big trouble.

Now, I am someone who can keep a secret and I know I didn't tell the std-thing to Emily. But, I really don't know how she could know that either. I am the only person who knows both Emily and Karolyn quite well so she had to have heard it from me. Only I'm certain that I didn't tell her about it.

I called Cris about it and she said I should just ask Emily where she got it from. And if she did hear it from me, maybe 5 years ago, I should just apologize to K. But, K said in the email that I mustn't talk to Emily about the subject.

My GOD I hate these kinds of girlfriend shit. I was a real bitch, I emailed K back and told her I didn't tell E and that if we can't be friends because of this then so be it. I'm gonna go catch some Zz's now, this is way too much drama for a week night.

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At least I don't drink on weekdays.
Monday, March 10, 2008

I'm trying to cut down on spending, since I'm gonna pay my own way from now on. But I couldn't resist ordering this cute little cardigan! Who can say no to cashmere on sale?!

I also like this little bag, except that it's real fur. I don't know how I feel about fur. I do wear leather shoes, bags and coats. But I heard that animals that are bred for fur are kept under horrible conditions. What do you think of real fur??


I got insomnia, Doc

Last night was the second time in a week that I got woken up by strange noises downstairs. Lots of doors slamming and shit. And it woke me up instantly. And this is weird because I am a seriously sound sleeper. Around 3 am, after a crystal clear dream, I'm suddenly wide awake. I hear noises but I try to convince myself to go back to sleep. That doesn't work so I go downstairs to check if there's something wrong. The noises stop. Then I go back to bed. The noises begin again. I can't sleep until 6 am and then it's not even two hours before I have to get up again. It sucks! I'm gonna try to get a full night of sleep again tonight.

I don't understand. I had this insomnia shit when I was younger and my parents had just broken up. Then I had a phase again in late puberty. And now I guess I'm in that place again. Let's hope this doesn't continue. I sure hope it isn't part of being a grown up and that the muhafucka's here to stay.


What's not to love?
Sunday, March 9, 2008

I love her dress!! I did see SJP on Oprah when she was promoting her Bitten line and I was not impressed. It was nice and simple, which was what they were aiming for I guess but I had expected more flamboyance!


Lots of staring at monitors and hanging out with the old bf

I had a very slow weekend together with B. We talked, ate, slept and watched The Kite runner, which was good but not as ground moving for me as for other's. And we watched Juno 'cause B hadn't seen it yet, and it was fun. But you know how some movies you see for the second (or thirtieth time) tend to be just as cool or even cooler than the first time you saw them? Like Donnie Darko was for me? Or West Side Story? Juno is definitely not in that category for me, although I still love it.

I told my mom I'd start to pay my own insurance and taxes when I graduated. So now I'm there. I'm opening bills I always handed over to mom, unopened. And let me tell you, being a grown up isn't doing my wallet any favors. So to save some money, we stayed in this weekend. I also watched two episodes of October Road (it's getting a bit boring but I'm still hanging in there) and a few episodes of Weeds. LOVE IT! There's always exciting stuff going on and the dialogues are good. Snoop Dogg made a cameo-appearance so now their street cred's way up there.

B and I met up after work on friday at a pub to drink some wine with some olives and old cheese. That gave us a light buzz so we went out for Mexican food. It was a great way to start the lazy weekend. And this afternoon we went to the arcade, I loooooooooooove House of the Dead part 4!!! I love shooting! I love playing air hockey too but it's a difficult game for me so after one game I'm usually done with it.

The formal bossman called last friday. They want to see me next thursday to meet the big cheese aka the CEO aka the man who founded the company. I really thought going in three times is a bit much but my manager at the place I'm working now says it's normal and that it's a good sign. I've also been offered a one-year contract at the firm I'm working at now. I said I'd think about it. I want to see how this formal gig turns out. I have to say it's a good feeling to be wanted in the corporate world!

B and I are doing good too! We looked online at houses this weekend, and it's nice to talk about what we want and don't want. It's a slow process but things might speed up like a motherfucker in no time. That's how life has been, so far.

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Mom's and books. I'm so damn boring and I love it.
Thursday, March 6, 2008

I just found out my Mom's msn messenger name is Carpe Diem. Although I know I should be happy for her "Do as thou wilt"-outlook on life, sometimes I wish it was Memento Mori. Not in the dark sense but in the sense that you have to think before you do. I don't know if I believe in hell and heaven per se but I do think that you can build you're own hell if you pull too much stunts and hurt people too much.

I'm reading Silent Force by Couperus. I've just begun but I think it's wonderful. Subtle and mystical.

I was supposed to hear the results from my job interview at the formal place today but they didn't call. So I called them at 16:45 and they said it was delayed and that I'd hear from them tomorrow. I think that if they wanted me they'd have made up their minds already. And I think it's a bit rude to not call me when you said you'd call me. I had thought more of the incredibly formal dude.

Loads of I's in this post. I wish I was more humble! Tomorrow is another day!

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Happy birthday John!!!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008

It's John Frusciante's birthday today. He turns 38!

I don't have a lot of time to blog these days. When I come home around 17:30 I drink some tea, make my dinner and just read or watch tv for the rest of the evening. If I'm up for it I'll clean something. So this is the first time I'm posting from work.

Last weekend I went out to dinner with Marianne and after dinner we went bar- and clubhopping got shitfaced. It was loads of fun! At one point we were in this bar and some old dude started talking to me about tarot cards. He wanted to lay them for me. I told him I had to consult God first. He gave me his number (which I didn't ask for) and told me he had something to tell me and that I had to give him a call. I threw the number away. Do you think I should've let him lay them for me? I am curious but I don't like bullshitters.

This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)