These are the last pieces I'm treating myself to.. for real!
Sunday, September 30, 2007

These are the fourth pair of boots I've ordered/bought this season. If these aren't The Ones either I'm gonna stop looking altogether. Stupid boots. Stupid me since I can't shop for shit! Since I'm not feeling all that great I did order these pants I've had my eyes on this whole summer. They're 50% off. They're perfect for Vietnam!

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Little nephew who kicks ass

One of the good things about the whole great-grandma-drama was that I got to spend a lot of time with family members I don't see that often. My favourite member was Bor, my three year old nephew. Actually, he's my great grandmother's grandson, he's my mom's full nephew so that would make him an uncle of mine. His mom is the youngest sister of my grandma's. You lost track? I lost it a long time ago.

His dad's a pilot and they live in Austria because he flies for an Austrian airline. We really bonded over computergames, drawings and sitting in the car together playing games while driving to and fro the hospital. Every time (well, not EVERYtime, I'm not obsessed) I saw him it reminded me of how I really want to have kids. I really hope we're able to have children of our own. Bor is a really funny little fella who looooves to kiss you all the time. He loves to cuddle and sit on your lap. When you walk with him on the sidewalk he takes your hand. He really melts your heart!!

He has a brother named Bear (5) and a sister named Kiki (7) and they flew in for the funeral. I played with them all and at one point Kiki told me her Dad sleeps naked. I didn't ask for that type of info! After that she told me Bor puts on her tiara when they're at home and won't give it back. Bor also has the tendency to play with her Barbies and when she asks for them he says No and that he wants to play with them by himself. When I told my cousin about it to have a few laughs he told me that he saw him playing with the other kids and the only thing Bor played with the entire time was a baby-stroller! Hahahaha!
His favourite movie is Top Gun, he pronounces it Tom Cat. He loves planes, especially Spitfires.

I really wonder what kind of boy/man he'll turn out to be.


Getting my mojo back

I wasn't very much in the mood for blogging lately, because of my grandma's. I was also very busy at school and I couldn't really skip anything except for the day my grandma got buried. I had to do 2 presentations and I have an exam on tuesday. Suprisingly (and luckily!) everything went pretty well so I was really happy with that.

For some reason I've been hanging on to God a lot more these days. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose. Even B has taken out the Koran out of my bookcase so I guess it's contagious. And no, we're not terrorists. It's just faith, you know. Trust that everything's gonna turn out fine.

Yesterday we went into another city. I had bought a pair of boots when I was really sad last weekend. I got it in my head that I couldn't wear my old boots to my grandma's funeral. When I came home I looked with my more sane eyes and saw that they didn't really fit me. The saleslady was really pushy and I was too fragile to react in the normal way which is to think: "Fuck off with your too big-a-boots you saleslady from hell!".
So yesterday we went to trade in the boots in another city, because I didn't want to deal with that same saleslady again. We gave them back and now I have a $315 coupon for a store I never buy any shoes at. Now I've learned my lesson to never shop when I'm feeling as low as I did. B is such a good boyfriend to come with me on all these shopping trips. To show my appreciation I treated him to a nice sushi lunch :-)

Now I have to study for the exam.

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

On september 12 my great grandmother was hospitalized. Exactly a week after that date (19th of september) she died and today we buried her. We had a nice ceremony with some music and a few nice speeches. I wrote one too that my grandmother recited. We work quite well as a team;-) After the burial we got together to pray and had a dinner ceremony.

It was beautiful and I know my great grandmother would have loved it. Our whole family was there and everything went smoothly.

The world feels like an empty place right now.


I love her so much
Sunday, September 16, 2007

My great-grandma (83 years old) is in the hospital. You can read about her killer looks here, if you wanna. She has bronchitis and can't breathe very well. I went to see her these last three days and it's so weird to see her lying there with her chest moving up and down so fast and screeching while she breaths. The first day she recognized me and held my hand firmly. The second day she looked better but was not as reactive as the first day. She was in critical condition last night, my mom called me but I was at a hiphop party with B. So today B and I went to see her and she was asleep. The doctor says she will either die or live through this. Thanks for the heads up, doc...

Anyways, I will go there everyday but I cannot stay in the hospital for a very long time. It freaks me out. Today there were a lot of relatives who never come and visit her except for her birthday or newyear's day. And one of those aunts gave me a little bit of a bad feeling for only staying for a short while. I don't know but I don't wanna stare at my grandma for a few minutes, then hang at the waiting room with a lot of relatives I don't really like and after a half an hour come back to her room and stare some more. I treasure my memories of us two hanging around at her appartment and gossiping (a lot!), telling eachother stories and secrets and drinking tea. She was always a so much fun and open minded when no one was watching us.


You're very pretty, pretty pretty
Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I looooooove autobiographies. I'm reading this one right now and it's wonderful. How amazing is this woman?! I've just read a few chapters and I'm at the part where she meets and marries Roger Vadim.

When I read it, it's like I'm sitting right in front of her, having tea or a glas of wine together and she tells me all that has been going on inside her mind and heart these last 60 decades.

I am really digging this. As a matter of fact I'm not going to school this afternoon but I am going downstairs, and read this. I have an lymfe-infection and I'm on anti-biotics and I still feel it. That excuse is as good as any, I suppose.


No place like home

I am back from Paris! We came home late last night, after a pretty long drive. But we made it home safe and I'm really tired right now. It was a lot of hard work during the day and after the fair closed at 7 pm we went out to dinner every night: I loved that! We had dinner with different people every night from Switzerland, England, Taiwan, China, Norway, Germany, South Africa and the US which I loved too... all those different backgrounds are so interesting.

The fair (Maison& Objet) was unbelievable, it was sooo big! I didn't even see most of the halls. And riding the subway in Paris is a crime. The smell is the worst, I don't even care about not sitting but can you imagine standing in a man's armpit that smells like he had his last shower right before christmas 2002?

I have to go school to copy some books but my body is too tired.

The fair in the morning. We had wonderful weather in Paris, I walked around in slippers all day, everyday.

Luxurious, expensive shit...

....but also a lot of kids' stuff!

Our hotel, small but pretty clean, was a 100 metre walk from Gare du Nord, which was great commute-wise but really noisy at night. My roommate slept with earplugs and a mask and still had trouble sleeping. I am so happy I'm such an easy sleeper :-D

I'm a little sad that my long summer vacation is over. Although I worked all the time, I didn't have to worry about school and that was the best part of it. We didn't have a real summer, it was rainy and not very sunny but I loved it anyway. And now Paris is over and I'll be in school 'till november 1st. I'm glad time goes by very fast because I need to go on vacation!


I've got issues, you've got issues
Monday, September 3, 2007

There is no other person in this world that can make me feel overweight like my mom can. Sometimes I think she deliberately says these things to upset me. And you know, they aren't big. Little remarks or comments... maybe someone else doesn't even notice them but I most certainly do.

When I was 13 my mom asked me how much I weighed. I weighed about 94 pounds back then. And then she told me that I had to, as a women, always strive to a certain weight. And since I weighed 94 pounds, my strive-weight had to be 90 pounds. I'm lucky I was as rebellious as I was/am, because I'm sure I would have end up bulimic or anorexic if I wasn't. I thought, "Hell no! I'm not gonna be on a diet for the rest of my life! I'm only 13!". And I was a bit mad that she tried to put this bullshit on me, but I never told her that. I kept quiet but also kept on eating and at the same time kept my body moving.

Right now I'm 26 and I weigh a little under a hundred pounds. I actually think I look good, not too skinny and not too big. And I hate that after all these years my mom, and her own weight issues that she projects on me, still get to me.


I don't prefer Italian men but this one oozes sex-appeal

Al Pacino when he was 18 or something. What's not to love? Plus, it's a mug shot. I really dig Bad boys!


Short and sweet
Sunday, September 2, 2007

Shopping, cooking, sleeping, birtdaypartying of B's 12 year old cousin.
That was my weekend.

Oh and B and I saw this movie on friday:

It was a pretty exciting thriller about a boy (that cute young dufus from 3rd Rock from the Sun) who was once a promising, popular hockey player but now suffers from memory loss due to a car crash. He was behind the weel and because of him two of his friends died, so he walks around with a big lump of guilt. Because he's mentally challenged he works as a cleaner at a bank during the nights. The villain, a former schoolmate, tries to lure him in a scheme to rob the bank he works at. The shit pretty much keeps hitting the fan from there on. Oh and his best friend's a blind guy named Lewis, who's played by Jeff Daniels. He kicks ass in this movie!
I say go see!

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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)