Happiness spiked with pain
Thursday, March 1, 2007

For those of you who don't know, my dad lived here for about a month with his wife. After a month I went insane and asked my brother if they could live with him again. You can read about it here if you wanna. They went and I haven't really seen my dad since. We talk on the phone and I ask him if he wants to come over but he says he's really busy. So I leave it at that. It's a bit awkward let me tell you.
They were sleeping in my study back then and I'd put the desk and computer and other junk in my bedroom. Since they were gone I couldn't put the stuff back in my study aka father's bedroom. I was afraid that if he'd come over and see that I'd taken back "his room" so quickly he'd feel not welcome. I remember that when I moved out of his house I was in a really bad state. And when I saw that he took over my room quite rapidly (I don't know maybe it wasn't all that fast), changed it and gave all my stuffed animals away (not that I still played with them of course) I felt pretty bad. I don't want hurt my dad like that.

But well, he hasn't come over for almost 2 months now so yesterday I decided to move my stuff in my/his room again. Right now I'm sitting here, sipping on some tea and building up courage to write the essay that's due tomorrow. I have much better light and view in this room and it's just so much nicer to work on school here so I'm quite content. But I'm missing my dad.

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3 Comments:
Blogger soapbox.SUPERSTAR had this to say:

Awww. It says a lot that you even feel that way.

March 1, 2007 at 5:57 AM 


Anonymous jenn had this to say:

(HUGS)

March 3, 2007 at 5:38 AM 


Blogger d. chedwick bryant had this to say:

I'm glad you took the room back, you know you love your dad and that he loves you, it will all work out.

March 3, 2007 at 10:55 AM 


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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)