I'm a sucker for insane pics
Wednesday, February 28, 2007




I just couldn't resist posting this one.
















www.dlisted.com






We're ok now, I guess

I had a little presentation to do at uni today and it went ok. My voice always lowers 2 octaves or something when I have to speak in front of people. It's really weird and I hate it. I was in complete shock when I realized that I forgot about another assignment that has to be turned in by friday. Friday!! That's the day after tomorrow and I haven't even read the whole book.
It's this book:

Yeah baby, so exciting! You should pick it up! On top of it all I have to work tomorrow and I have a sushi dinnerdate with my girl Kim tomorrow evening. I know, whenever I go out to dinner it's sushi 3 out of 5 times. I just love it! I used to work at this sushi place for 3 years and Kim still works there so it'll be fun seeing all my old colleagues again. And we get a discount;-)) So it's gonna be a long night for me, writing that essay! I just caught some Z's for an hour on my couch so I can hang in there tonight without looking like a complete zombie tomorrow.

Gwynnie (B's best female friend) has just given birth to a baby boy! She has all kinds of health problems and it was a pretty intense pregnancy so they're sooo happy he came in (or out, depends on how you see it) healthy! His name is Rowan. Such a cool name too, I sometimes think of babynames (yeah, I'm such a nerd) and the name Rohan always comes up. But now we can't use it anymore, now can we? Thanks a bunch Gwyn!

B and I are in a better place right now. We talked about stuff a lot, told eachother our opinions and we still love eachother so much. I really don't want to let go, although at times I think it's better.
www.amazon.com

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Happy birthday soapbox.SUPERSTAR!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007



The coolest cyberchick I know is turning 31 today!! Happy birthday, Misty!!! I wish you a wonderful day and that all your dreams may come true in this new year for you. I hope you and your family have a fun time celebrating!

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Monday, monday
Monday, February 26, 2007

Downer(s): My boyfriend and I are going through a rough patch (once again). My heater's not working (again), it's freezing in here (again) and I'm skipping school (again) because the service people are coming (again) between 1 and 5 pm.

Uppers(s): I get to watch the last 30 minutes of As the world turns. Although B and I had a really painful conversation yesterday night, I did manage to get a good night's sleep. I can sleep whenever, wherever. Maybe it's because I'm from Indonesian ancestry (like, 6 generations ago) and it's in my blood to be a lazy ass who can sleep in trees all day. I don't know, but I sure do love it!

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I just don't know what to do
Sunday, February 25, 2007

I had a weird weekend and it's my own fault. Yesterday, B and me spent a day at a nearby city. We had a nice lunch and went to a museum, the Nature History museum, after that. Basically we saw lots of set up animals and skeletons. What's not to love? We were supposed to go to the museum we normally go to, the Art Hall, where they always have different contemporary art exhibtions. We were feeling naughty (haha) and went to the museum across the street; it was quite sympathetic actually! All those dead animals attracted lots of families with kids and I always think it's very nice to visit a museum where there are not just grumpy, serious-looking old folks. The security people can be such asses out here in museums too so it was so good to see that they were actually cool to us at this place and cracking jokes 'n stuff. We'd better go to child friendly museums all the time!

We shot some pool in the evening which was also tons of fun. My boyfriend's the best pool player because he used to be a professional snookerplayer. He shoots with his left hand when we're playing against eachother so his advantage is slightly smaller but he's still the absolute master in the ball and stick area. Whatever, I'm better at other things with balls. It would be weird if it were the other way around.

We were kind of tipsy from the rum&cokes we drank during pool (cheap drunk that I am) so we chowed down to a nice sushi dinner. It was GOOD food and after that we went to have some beers at my friend Chuck's restaurant. Yep, it was a day full of activities! Unfortunately after we saw "When a stranger calls" (a very tip-off-your-seat but dumb movie) I puked my kamikaze spicy tuna roll out. What a waste and/or maybe not so good food after all.

And today I layed in bed all day because I have a lil' flue like thingy with a hard stomach. We went to have dinner at my mom's and about two hours ago I told my boyfriend I'm not really happy with how things are going between us. He's not happy either. I don't know, I told him the truth when I said that if he met another girl that wanted everything with him, it might be better if he went for her. Because I don't really know if I still want it. I'm ashamed that I can be a complete bitch sometimes. I hate myself when I say such things and I get the feeling I'm not the only one. But I'm honest. I always knew I wanted to marry him, have kids and live together. But right now I'm not so sure anymore. When does all this shit ends???

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Scary shit
Friday, February 23, 2007



Now, I don't wanna go into the details of the very sad Anna Nicole story, you can find that everywhere else but I couldn't keep this picture of that Stern character from you. He makes my skin crawl, he looks like he's possessed by satan himself!
www.theblemish.com

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I know it seems like I don't do anything but watch movies all week but I have a life, I really do!

Had a fun evening with my girl Emily yesterday! We were cracking very stupid jokes all night. I love that we totally dig eachother's sense of humor. At work and uni I have to act like an adult (whatever that might mean) so it feels so good to hang around with a friend after work and behave like someone half my age! We went to MacDonald's first and ate a lot. After we finished that we ordered some more so we could munch at the movies like God intended;-)

We went to see the "The good shepherd". It was suprisingly good, actually. The movie has a duration of 2,5 hours and not one time did I ask myself when the torture would be over. I didn't even fall asleep. The movie made me curious about a lot of stuff and that's something I always like in films. The way Matt Damon performed in this movie reminded me of the way he acted in "The talented mr. Ripley" and we took the liberty of making lot of loud, silly remarks about that in the theatre. You should be glad you weren't there; I'm always very suprised that people don't tell us to shut the fuck up and stop being so irritating. But seriously, I really like it when Matt Damon acts all weird and inside his head. This movie and the Ripley movie are the only movies from Damon that I really love. So if you're also a fan of Damon in that way, you should really pick this one up.

After the movie we drank a few beers, to wash away the dead maggot taste that I always seem to have a few hours after eating MacDonald's just like this time. We didn't tip the waiter because he acted like an ass. To punish us for not tipping, he gave us 2 euros in 10 and 20 cent-pieces. He was so right!

p.s. Out here waiters get a normal wage, they don't have to live off tips so don't get all union-ass on me;-)
www.stuff.co.nz

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I love Keanu and I don't mind his not-so-clever-sounding voice.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Djeez, this was an incredible movie! Unfortunately I slept through the second half (was so tired!) but it was enough to know that it is a special movie indeed. It looks like they shot it normally and then put a million of layers on it so it's half cartoon half real. The cast includes Winona Ryder, Robert Downey jr. and Woody Harrelson; pretty much the crème de la crème of their generation. The Downey character has some ass kicking lines, I'd listen to tapes of this movie just to hear him saying them. But maybe that only says something about me being a moron, I don't know. Go see the movie and figure it out. Basically the theme is drugs, drugs and drugs again. Some parts are very recognizable, I must say.

p.s. B's still downloading the movie, Misty, but it's taking ages!

www.allposters.com

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The reject
Monday, February 19, 2007

Today I heard the results of my job interview. If you read the head of this post, you'll know what the deal is. You know what one of the reasons was for rejecting me? They didn't think I would be collegial. I don't know if that's the proper English word but I mean they thought I wasn't going to be very fraternal. I laughed at what they said, not because it's so amusing but because they may have a point there. I'm the most loyal, trustworthy friend to people I care about but if I think you're a fake or not pure in any way I'm not gonna put an effort in bonding with you. Au contraire, I might add. It has been this way all my life and it resulted in having friends that I have lots of love for and trust with my life. And also a short string of exes (haha). At work, if I don't like you I'm polite but that's all you're getting from me. So I don't know, this is just a part of me. On the other hand I think they got the wrong picture 'cause I've worked on weekends since I was 17 and always had lots of fun with co-workers. A bunch of them are still my friends after all this time. Or is this what they call in denial ;-)

I also got confronted with another aspect of myself and that's always looking if there's a better deal for me someplace else. I go appartment hunting even though I already have a really nice house. I don't wanna live with my boyfriend just yet, not that I'm cruising for another companion but there's always a piece of me that has doubts. And I go on job interviews while I already have a fine job that leaves me with zero complaints. So the next question is: do I wanna change? Is there a need to change? I think so. I believe I'll feel like a better person if I at least try to be (more) content with what I have right now.

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Eeeeew!
Sunday, February 18, 2007



I borrowed this book from a friend of mine and started to read it a while ago. I had to quit reading after 30 pages or so when I found my friend's bookmark: a pubic hair!
When I saw Sienna Miller (don't really like her) promoting her film on Letterman I immediately thought of "the bookmark". Gross!!! Needless to say I won't be shooting a glance at that "Factory Girl"-flick anytime soon...
www.amazon.com






My great grandma troll
Friday, February 16, 2007

I'm having a good day today, I might say. I worked 'till noon, then I had a job interview. I already have an ok job, but you never know what's behind door nr. 3! And I applicated in december or something so I thought, what the heck, I might as well follow through. I think I'll hear the results after the weekend.

After that I dropped by my moms work (her job's just a block away from my house) and we decided to swing by my great grandma's. I love her. She's much closer to me than my normal grandma (her daughter) and everytime I see her I'm reminded of how fragile she is and how fast I'm losing her. She looks a bit like one of these (minus the lingerie):




Some grandkids call her grandma troll! Even her hairstyle's the same 'cause she lays in bed all the time. She dyes it black; she's still vain like that although she leaves the house once a month. She was in the hospital for a few weeks because she doesn't eat very well. That's an understatement. I suspect she's starving herself to death. When people are over at her house she's happy but she feels so lonely most of the time. My God, being old that way is fucked up. I always think about the fact that I'm probably gonna go through excactly the same things she's experiencing now. But still, it's always a pleasure seeing her.

B is picking me up in a bit, to chill at his place. I'm laying low this weekend. In one of our heavy conversations B pointed out that I've been spending much more time with my girlfriends than I used to which means I've been spending less with him. He was very subtle and totally not in complaining-mode so I'm making an effort to give him more attention. No beers with the girls for me this weekend;o) Hope y'all have a good one!

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On a lighter note
Thursday, February 15, 2007

I never was the biggest 007 fan. But I've probably watched them all because... well who hasn't?! I totally hated Daniel Craig in the previews, he looked deformed! But when I saw Casino Royale something changed. I really think he gave Bond more dimensions than he has ever had (more than one haha!). And he also looks so good in a speedo. He has a hard looking though very handsome face. He's just an allround cool guy.

My god I can't believe I'm this shallow!

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Cats and dogs

Crissy and Emily are two of my best friends (I'm gonna drop the abbreviations, they're irritating the hell out of me, even I can't keep track anymore) and they are fighting eachother all week. I've known Crissy since we were juniors in high school and we've been through the good, the bad and the ugly together. We both know very well what our flaws are and we chose to accept them. The last time we had an argument was in 1999. Emily hasn't been around for that long but us three are like the three musketeers/TLC/the little nephews of Donald Duck... you get the picture. Right now they're acting like children and they're both calling me everyday to vent a.k.a. bitch about eachother. I keep advising them to call eachother and clear the fucking air. But when Crissy phones Emily, she refuses to pick up. The next day it's the other way around and so they're playing a pretty futile game of text-ping-pong since friday. Is this high school part deux? Is this ever gonna change? I think it's best to be an ally to all women who are pure on the inside. Everytime I think I've shed my adolescent skin something happens that makes me wonder if I'm ever going to.

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They've done it again!
Monday, February 12, 2007


My all time favourite band has won another Grammy! I'm very suspicious of awards they always make me wonder who the hell is pulling all the strings up there. Since it's the greatest band in the world I couldn't help but cheer when I heard they'd won. I also think it's funny because it was in some weird category I'd never heard of before. Hey, don't get me wrong, I love them to death but don't you think they look like a bunch of old geezers?

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On and on and on and on...
Sunday, February 11, 2007

My boyfriend B and I had a simultaneously good and bad day yesterday. He's gone through a rough patch this last year and it certainly has influence on the two of us. Especially the last few months, he hasn't been the nicest guy. I know where he's coming from so his behaviour is understandable but sometimes it's very difficult to be so damn understanding all the time. We both have changed. I was a real tough cookie when we met a few years ago. He on the other hand was like a golden retriever; always happy and wagging his tail in excitement. He was soft and I was hard. But a year ago, his life changed and we kinda switched roles. I don't wanna go into the details now (I have to wash my hair and read three chapters for school) but he went from riches to rags and now has a hard time taking matters into his own hands. And when things are difficult you tend to take it out on the people who are closest to you. It sucks!!

So yesterday I told him I love and I understand him but I'm not gonna be with someone who isn't going to (at least try to) be nice to me. Life's too beautiful and short for that shit. I've had boyfriends before who weren't exactly the sweestest but from them I knew from the get-go what I was getting myself into. And B just went from puppy dog to pinhead. So we talked, cried, explained and debated the whole evening and in the end the air was pretty much cleared. Hope all this hard "work" will take us to a better place.

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Hungover like a horse or something...
Saturday, February 10, 2007

Yegh. I have a terrible headache and my skin looks pale. I had a very nice evening. I met up with a few girlfriends at a very preppy bar where we normally don't go. One of the girls, M.G. (the lawyer who started a business of her own) is really into shit like that, so we indulged her and grabbed a few drinks there. After that, we went clubbing. It was nice and all but at 3 am I got sick and puked my guts out. I don't know what it is, sometimes I can drink my ass off and it's all good and some nights (I'm ashamed to say this happens more often) I'm like damn Steve-O, vomiting at the drop of a hat. I don't like that very much about myself. I did an interview with Steve-O three years ago by the way, he was really cool and we both resisted our puking tendencies.

I'm supposed to go with my mom to a family-get-together of her boyfriend this evening. I am sooo not going because I'm in terrible morning-after pain. I don't even like the guy that much so why the hell would I want to spend my saturday with his family? (Yeah yeah I know, because my mom would like it) He's just there you know. Although he did paint and redid the walls of my staircase so I shouldn't be saying these unkind things about him. But hey, that's one of the perks of having my OWN blog!! Total and at times brutal honesty. I have to read a lot for school so I guess I will be doing that today. It's raining cats and dogs here so it's good weather for that. And maybe later I'm meeting up with my boyfriend whom I haven't seen in (feels like) ages.

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Workin' nine to five
Thursday, February 8, 2007

First day at work and it was ok, I guess. The job's at city hall and I share a room with two other girls, one of which I'm the replacement for. She immediately gave me the lowdown on the other girl, i.e. she can be really bossy (that's ok, I can be bossier- is that a word?), she wants to give me all the dirty jobs (I don't care as long as I get that check every week). I hate gossiping like that about someone I've just met 10 minutes ago especially when I have to work with that person. It's a typical girlish thing to do and I really felt like a boy when she was going on and on like that. After that I went to eat pizza with one of my best girlfriends C.C. and we both fell asleep during CSI Miami. That chronic'll do that to you. I took a very refreshing walk home after that.

I haven't seen my boyfriend all week. We talk a lot on the phone but we've both been busy and I guess we both need some breathing space. He had been filming a tv-commercial for a crisps-brand today. It's not excactly my cup of tea, but he likes it and it pays really well. When I don't get to see him for this long, I always feel like he exists in a parallel universe or something like that, or anywhere else but here. Yes dear, keep smokin' that hay. (Stupid thing is, I meant what I said!)

I'm behind on my reading, I have to tutor my collegegroup on monday, grrr.

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Hahahaha!
Tuesday, February 6, 2007


Since I'm in such a good mood, I had to share this view with you guys. They always seem to make me cackle! Seriously, are they for real?

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It's in the bag!

I'm really happy! I had a job interview first thing this morning. I'm not a rise-and-shine at 6 am kinda gal and unfortunately the older I get, the earlier other people force me to wake up. So I was a bit worried they wouldn't see the smart, funny and nice girl that I can be (yeah, right!) but instead meet the grumpy, sleepy and not-so-great-looking me. Somehow everything worked out fine because at the end of the conversation they told me they'd be happy if I'd come and work for them. Yay! I'm gonna be working parttime, 24 hours a week starting this thursday. I love new experiences and working makes me feel like an independent and strong young woman.

It also means I can spend a lot more money on clothes/restaurants/beers AND save for that ticket to Vietnam. I've always been a big fan of Vietnam war movies, not to mention the 90's tv-hit Tour of Duty:-)) So if all goes well, at the end of the year I'll be walking around Ho Chi Minh just like sgt. Zeke Anderson did! (yeah, yeah, I know the series were shot in Canada or some other non-Asian country. Still wanna go to Vietnam though;-))

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Natty dreadlocks!
Sunday, February 4, 2007

I had a fantastic evening! Black Uhuru came to town this weekend! I went to see them with three uncles, one of their girlfriend's and my boyfriend B. I have the coolest uncles, my mom has four little brothers and we all used to be pretty tight in the old days. I remember being taught how to ride a bike by uncle L when I was five. That particular uncle doesn't speak very clearly so I kept falling because I couldn't understand his directions! It all worked out fine; I'm a kick ass biker these days. The youngest, B, used to still live at my grandma's house when we were little and when we slept over on weekends we'd always watch cartoons with him. We'd watch Transformers and we pretended uncle B was Megatron, my brother R was Optimus Prime and I was little yellow Bumble Bee. Good times;-)

The concert was good! They played a lot of golden oldies and they had a very talented, enthusiastic, young opening act. So we danced all night, drank a few beers and ended up eating shoarma at an all night diner.

One thing was really strange. One of my uncles (E, who was with his girlfriend) told us he'd leave his "stuff" in the car and that we'd have to leave together. When the concert was over we couldn't find uncle E anymore. Turned out they already went to their hotel. The rest of us decided to stay for a bit have some laughs/chats/beers. After the munchies, we decided to bring his "stuff" (we didn't know what it was) over to the hotel but they didn't answer the phone. My uncle L gave us all rides home. When we got out of the car we all wanted to see what his " stuff" was so I reached over at the back of his big MPV and pulled out...an axe!!
Seriously, what the fuck?! We all know my uncle's pretty weird (he lives at the other side of the country and we rarely see him) but this was far beyond anything we ever expected!! What can you say after something like that? Never a dull moment, y'all.
I'm gonna get a good night's sleep 'cause tomorrow is the first day of my last semester at uni. Sleep tight everyone.

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How will I know?
Friday, February 2, 2007

How does one know she's in the right place? Why am I deliberating, weighing out what to do next? Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm with the right person. Am I the right person myself? Let's hope these are just the last waves of my adolescence. Oh wait a minute, am I too old for that?

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Tired yet satisfied


The past 24 hours were brutal. And it was my own fault. I've been working on my reports around the clock this week (well, sort of) but since we also had tickets for the filmfestival I really had to haul ass. I was on schedule yesterday, so I went to my boyfriend's to have some dinner and after that we saw the movie 'Red Road'. It's a Scottish movie about a woman whose husband and daughter got killed in a car crash. The driver's sentenced to 10 years in prison. She finds out that the killer is free again so she follows him around town and fucks him only to press rape-charges afterwards. That way he'll be in jail for a lifetime. In the end she sympathizes with him, and although she still hates him she drops the charges against him. It was an impressive movie because it doesn't tell all the details immediately; you have to figure things out for yourself. It was also kind of nerve wrecking because you really wanted her to kill him but eventually she is smarter than that and sets him up. What I also liked about his movie is the Scottish scenery; wow that weather is fucked up! Certainly sets the mood...

After the movie we went for a beer at a jazzclub. They had live music so that was nice. I'm not really into jazz but for some reason I quite frequently end up at jazzfestivals& jazzclubs...
I worked all night on my reports and had a measly 4 hour sleep. After I turned my reports in (faculty is 1,5 hours away) I came into town just in time to apply for a job. I hope I get the job 'cause I really need it. Now i'm just gonna cook myself some dinner, watch 'King of queens' (I loooove that big dude!) and maybe later I'm meeting some girlfriends for a drink. That is, if I don't die of exhaustion.

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She bangs
Thursday, February 1, 2007

Is it weird that I gave myself bangs tuesday night, after an evening of smoking reefers and watching Dirty Dancing fastforward with my girl EW? I don't know but my hair's looking pretty hot today!

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Hold that thought

Why am I always putting things off until the last minute? I had the whole week off to finish up two reports and then the whole being-an-intern part of my life has come to an end. Thank God, I'll never have to do that ever again. The reports are due tomorrow and I'm still not ready yet. We also have tickets for another filmfestivalfilm tonight so I have to hurry the fuck up, otherwise I'm not gonna make it. Am I destined to work like this for the rest of my life? Oh my!

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This is me. 32-year old, mother of 1 and living in Europe. Going through life with one hell of a man, lots of love for my family and a pretty tight circle of mismatched friends. Very self-confident even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! (more)